I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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