the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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