Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
