I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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