Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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