Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize