My first STD was from a foam party
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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