If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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