I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
