The maid of honor just puked.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
