i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
