A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
