forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
