dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
