I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
