She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
