The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
