I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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