I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
