The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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