I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
