So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
This house was built for laser tag.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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