I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
third nipple confirmed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
