8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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