North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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