ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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