ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
