If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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