Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
