3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
