i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
