Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
