pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
