dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
