Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
