The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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