Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
