Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it hurts more in the daytime
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
