I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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