Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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