using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
