sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
