It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
