i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
