I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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