i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
now i know why i became what i already was.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize