Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
