I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
