Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
