for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What drink are we having for lunch?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
