My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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