You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize