I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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