Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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