Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
