Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
