well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just gift wrapped bread.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
