Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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