the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
