Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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