I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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