i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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